Learn About Living Life Deliberately with Bernice Fitzgibbon

Most of us have gone through stages in life when we felt broken, confused, and alone.  When we felt no joy in life and everything seems to be an effort.  This is not the same as clinical depression, which requires professional intervention, but a very low time in our life.  It could have been triggered by a life event or just a slow progression of small day-to-day events that have set off a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings.

These small day-to-day events could be as simple as rushing every day to get to work or a repetitive job you don’t enjoy or family commitments that give you no time for yourself “ME” time!  No matter what it is that has caused the downward spiral there is a way back but it does take work on your part and it all comes back to your thoughts.

Now for the purpose of this post, I am not going to talk about past beliefs, attitudes, and conditioning although they do play a big part in how you think and respond to outside events.  I am only going to give you a formula that I have used over the years when I have felt overwhelmed, broken, and confused.  It is a do-it-yourself hug your broken pieces back together so you can become a whole person again.

  1. Acceptance is the first step. Trying to pull yourself out of the negative spiral you are in will only intensify the thoughts and feelings of despair.


2. Float! This is about letting go and focusing on your breathing.  Slowly in slowly out.  Be aware of your thoughts, as an observer, but as they come into focus acknowledge them then let them go.  We have a tendency to put energy into our thoughts giving them power when really they are only words with no power other than what we give them.

I would visualize myself standing on one side of an open door. There were soft white clouds floating at the entrance so you couldn’t see what was on the other side. I felt light as I moved towards the clouds until I was floating just above the ground. I would then feel myself floating gently through the door free from any burden. It was the feeling of letting go and allowing rather than the destination but it gave me a feeling of lightness I hadn’t felt in such a long time. It was showing me what was possible and gave me a new perspective on what I believe reality was.

  1. Replace the thoughts with positive self-serving ones. This is when you use positive affirmations of how you want your life to look.  I like to keep mine simple so one of the ones I used was;

“Every day in every way my life is getting better and better.”

  1. Visualize– We all have memories of good times when we were happy and in control. A particular person or event that makes us feel warm inside.  Mine was my grandson’s smiling when he saw me but yours could be a wonderful evening out with friends or a place you felt happy and at peace, it doesn’t matter as long as it invokes the feeling of joy, love, and warm fuzzies.


  1. Gratitude-You, hear it all the time to have an Attitude of Gratitude. This can be difficult given the way you are feeling at the moment but please remember you are feeling broken due to where you have chosen to put your focus.  Now it is time to focus on something that is going to improve your life and lift you out of this current state of being.


  1. Let time pass.  This is important because you won’t feel great immediately and it does take time to change negative patterns of thinking.

I want to impress on you that it isn’t an instant fix and does take work and commitment.  If you take a serious look at where you are now it didn’t come about overnight and if you become aware of your day-to-day thoughts you will probably find they have been doing their own thing running wild and creating havoc with your emotions and not in a positive way.  It is about becoming aware, so being mindful at the moment, accepting responsibility, then making the necessary changes required to turn your life around.

You can change this by taking back control of your thoughts.


Accept the thoughts that create the emotions

Float and breathe through the feelings

Replace the negative thoughts with ones that serve you.

Visualize an event, person, or experience that has happy memories

Remember the feelings don’t change immediately with the new thoughts so to help the process use the feelings and emotions from a happier experience.

Gratitude- On waking and before you go to sleep think of at least one thing you are grateful for.

Let time pass- change doesn’t happen overnight be patient.

Shit happens to all of us it’s our attitude and how we chose to deal with it that makes the difference!  You can live a happy fulfilling life or a life of fear and regret!  You chose.




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